Rude Mood: Why Some People Make a “Bad” Mood a Bigger Deal than Others

Ever known someone who was very “moody”? We all have, haven’t we? Yet, maybe you’ve noticed the tendency of some people, though, to allow their moods to take more control of their lives than others.

 Before we look too closely at this, however, it might be a good idea for me to examine the concept of “mood” more closely. Ones mood and their self-esteem are linked together in a very important way; the lower someone’s self-esteem, the more demonstrative a “bad” mood will become.
For the man or woman who has a solid sense of self, and who feels that their “worth” as a human being is high, the “bad” mood is little more than that…a temporary feeling that, given enough time, will soon pass and be forgotten.

 To the person who does not feel they have much value, and have therefore rated their self “worth” very low, a “bad” mood is experienced, not as temporary, but as the “reality” of their life overall. When they are sad, they cast the feeling of sadness backwards and forwards, coloring their entire life with this feeling. When they later find they are in a mood of “frustration”, they quickly let go and forget about the sadness they previously thought to be permanent, and are now seeing life through the “lens” of frustration.
I can get “pissed off” with the best of them, and do, but my “pissed off” is no longer viewed as anything more –by me-than a fleeting feeling that will just as quickly shift to something else, and just knowing this, somehow takes the edge off of being “pissed off” much more quickly.
Remember, self-esteem is not to be confused with confidence. Confidence is how in control and effective a person feels in a specific context. Self-esteem is how much a person likes themselves.
I don’t know a thing about flying airplanes; put me in the pilot seat of a 747, and my confidence drops immediately. Put someone with a phobia of heights or snakes in front of me, and my confidence soars; I know exactly what to do, and have a rich history of having done so. The one constant, for me, however, at this stage of my life, is that my sense of worth is high in both situations. I realize that only an idiot would have confidence in flying a plane when they have never done it before. Therefore, I would embrace my waning confidence as quite natural.
Now, where self-esteem plays a big part, is when someone is thinking of doing something new. Those with a high self-esteem are far more likely to try new things, because they feel more comfortable in new situations, and don’t worry about “looking stupid” (as we all do when doing something we’ve never done before-like skiing). If I chose to take flying lessons, I would not have my sense of worth all tied up in how well I was doing with my lessons.
So, as we come full circle, talking about “mood” once again, realize that moods change frequently for virtually everyone. Sometimes, though, you wouldn’t know it, because their level of self-esteem is high enough that they literally go with the flow, and don’t identify too strongly with any of the moods they might find themselves experiencing during the day.
Want a quick way of gauging the self-esteem of others? Watch to see how they treat themselves and others. The classic poor self -esteem sign is someone who is always putting themselves down, but goes out of their way to be “nice” to others. What we see, in this case, is someone who is “nice” simply because they desperately crave the approval of others, and “suck up” to everyone, trying in vain to keep everyone happy.

Then of course, there is the person who appears to treat themselves well, but who treats those who they think are “beneath” them, like a janitor or fast food waiter, for example, like some low life that should be honored to look at them. Their apparent “good” treatment of themselves is not a sign of high self-esteem; it is the sign of a large ego.
Remember this: A person cannot have a large ego and high self-esteem; they can have a large ego and low self esteem, and this would be called “arrogance”. The inverse of this would be the person with a low self esteem and a small ego…this is someone who is the proverbial doormat for others, and who never stands up for themselves. “Balance” is achieved, in this area, only when the ego deflates a bit, and self-esteem increases. As you might imagine, this does not usually happen overnight.
There is a lot to glean from this short article. Read it again in a few days, and then again a few days later. Let the pieces of the puzzle fall into place and notice how you start to become more aware of not only your own behavior, but that of others as well.
©Copyright 2010-Vincent Harris-All Rights Reserved.

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